the G word.

I always have a hard time deciding what to blog about.

The problem for me, is deciding between what is "blog appropriate"

and what should just stay safely between the covers of my journal.

Anyone else have this problem??

However, I'm going to take a little risk here, and blog about what's currently eating me:

gossip.

The same people love to do it, and love to hate on it.

-We love to discuss what is gossip and what isn't.

-We love to defend our gossiping minds with a shiny coat of "it's cause I loooooove them."

-Celebrity gossip? Oh, well we don't consider trashy magazines and tv shows real gossip at all.

-Oh, and the best one: gossip in the form of prayer requests.

Usually, we recognize gossip easily (I mean, come on, we are sooo good at doing it ourselves!),

but we are too afraid of offending someone to either:

a.) change the subject

or

b.) get to the root of the problem, gently and lovingly label it as gossip, and ask if you can talk about something else.

*hint: choose b! choose b!*

I feel like I'm particularly sensitive and aware of gossip, because it has caused me so much pain.

But it's probably caused you a lot of pain, too. If I have ever caused you pain by gossiping about you, I am truly sorry.

only me.

I thought it would only be appropriate to write my first blog in twenty ten about one topic

and one topic only:

plastic surgery.

Actually, little brother keeps telling me to do this, so here goes...

Okay, remember this?

Just a cute little nose stud.

...well, not quite.

Fastforward two months, and it turned into this:

If you can't tell, that's a studless, bright red, mole-looking, 3D bump.

It's disgusting and ugly.

Apparently, I was allergic to the jewelry.

I went to the doctor (twice in the same day), and eventually they were able to CUT the stud out of my nose. It took three doctors and a few nurses, and it was a bloody, painful mess.

How does this all relate to plastic surgery?

Well, you see, that nasty bump is called a keloid. Basically, it's scar tissue, and it's permanent.

Plastic surgery is my only option, and they say the bump might still come back twice as big.

...lovely.

So now that little nose stud is sitting in a sterile cup, you know, the ones you pee in, and I haven't quite decided what to do with it yet.

Moral of the story, according to Doc:

"You know, you don't need a nose ring to be cool."

season finale.

I'm done with another semester!!!

freedom.freedom.freedom.

I believe this calls for cocomotion, cookies, and a movie.

The best part?

We had TWO snow days this week, and finals were cancelled.

What are the chances of that?!

I have never been more excited for Christmas break.
I get to spend 12 days in Denver, CO with two of my best friends,

then Christmas! New Years! and Heidi Baker!!!

It was a very, very long semester,

but I survived.

<3

Psalm 23:1-6

God, my shepherd!

I don't need a thing.

You have bedded me down in lush meadows,

You find me quiet pools to drink from.

True to Your word,

You let me catch my breath

and send me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through

Death Valley,

I'm not afraid

when You walk at my side.

Your trusty shepherd's crook

makes me feel secure.

You serve me a six-course dinner

right in front of my enemies.

You revive my drooping head,

my cup brims with blessing.

Your beauty and love chase after me

every day of my life.

I'm back home in the house of God

for the rest of my life.

lovely.

My perfect Friday night is consisting of:

Making tea in my pink teapot,

listening to Heidi Baker sermons,

and writing in my new journal.

Notice anything new?!?!

It is quite enough that we are loved.

How exciting is it

that we serve a God who is SO much more mighty and powerful

than we will ever understand.

He wants us to dream BIG!

Absolutely nothing is impossible.

How different would our lives look if we actually believed this?

Well, I'm getting a tiny glimpse of it!

This week has been extremely exciting.

The feedback I've gotten on this blog is OUTRAGEOUSLY awesome.

I wasn't exactly sure what to expect,

and I definitely didn't expect this!

It's so exciting to see Jesus changing and challenging people

through the things He is doing in my life.

It really shouldn't be surprising, though!

I keep wondering why so many people react with such shock and awe.

He's calling people to be radical.

And one at a time, people are responding...

They are starting to give Him all of them. Not just whatever's convenient.

My joy and excitement about this is overflowing.

I know this blog is risky business.

I'm really not used to putting myself out there, like this.

A lovely friend of mine warned me that even some of my closest friends

wouldn't be supportive of the places Jesus is taking me.

That they just wouldn't be able to understand.

A few weeks ago, I couldn't imagine that happening.

I can, now.

The things I share in this blog

are the things Jesus is telling me to share.

If you feel joyful, excited, challenged, convicted, offended after reading it,

it's from Him, not me.

I think that is absolutely beautiful.

radical.

I'm gaining a better understanding of why I struggle with my classes so very much.

It's the fact that I spend 12-20 hours, per week, per semester,

in classes that bring absolutely no glory to God.

(not to mention the hours spent outside of class).

In fact, I'm spending a lot of time

learning things, memorizing things, writing papers about things,

that actually discount Him.

I can't tell you how many times I've been told

that when we become teachers, we have to leave ourselves at the door,

and take on whatever roles our schools require of us.

Because if we don't,

we get fired.

I'm just not willing to do that.

My beliefs, values, ethics, and especially my Jesus will never be sacrificed

for the sake of my job.

Or for the sake of anything else.

I'm firing myself, thank you.

Perhaps I'm being radical?

I've gotten that a lot, lately.

And I don't mind.

Actually, it's quite the compliment.

Cause if you haven't noticed...

Jesus lived the most radical life, ever.

Honestly, I don't understand

why anyone who calls themself a follower of Christ,

a lover of Christ,

would be so eager and willing

to spend hours upon hours

doing anything that doesn't glorify or honor their Maker.

Why are we so willing to give in to demands placed on us by society?

Why do we make excuse after excuse?

Why do we try so hard to blend into the norm? Into this world?

My pastor stated it well on Sunday:

"How can we sit comfortably in church on Sundays,

in the house of God,

after spending week after week

filling our minds with the kinds of movies we watch

and the kind of music we listen to?"

This statement just barely scratches the surface

of the compromises we make in our daily lives.

We've let ourselves go.

Honestly, I feel like we are more concerned with other peoples faults

than with our own.

Perhaps we should let the homeless man

who has been wearing the same outfit for months,

who smells like feces,

who carries all his belongings on his back...

Perhaps we should let him join our church services,

rather than ask him to leave.

Perhaps we should treat him like a child of God.

Perhaps we should embrace him and bless him.

Perhaps we should love him.

A lot of us look no different from this man,

on the inside,

anyways.

I'll be the first to admit that I've fallen short.

That I've missed the mark

over and over and over and over again.

And I know I'll absolutely never get it perfect. or even close.

That's why I've been trying to change,

and that's why I am where I am today...

ready to literally drop everything

and run after Jesus.

Ready to literally follow Him to the ends of the earth.

Ready to die to my flesh and become fully alive in Christ.

The Bible isn't just a book of suggestions

to me

anymore.